#funny

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#care #else #men #only #tv

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#always #amazing #amount #day #every

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#blender #having #kind #like #top

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#explosive #funny #i #i think #subjects

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#anything #irs #like #mafia #take

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. ↗

— Garry Shandling

#behind #desk #funny #hosting #i

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. ↗

— Garry Shandling

#carol #carol burnett #first #first time #funny

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. ↗

— Garry Shandling

#been #funny #haven #here #i

I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front. ↗

— Garry Shandling

#front #fun #funny #hard #have fun

You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. ↗

— Garry Shandling

#asked #curious #did #each #funny