#funny

As the middle child of the Laurel Canyon Adams Family, Whit was surprisingly chill on the subject of ampire-vays. ↗

#funny #humor #pig-latin #silly #vampire

I believe the love shared between two people shouldn’t be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #funny

I am a philanthropist. I hand my clothes down to customers at half the price they would get them from their families. Even with all the discounts I give, my non-profit chain is highly lucrative. ↗

— Bauvard

#fashion #funny #humor #non-profit #philanthropy

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

We were at the White House a couple of weeks ago," the man says, "they had a state dinner for Prince Charles and Camilla. Listen, those royals are just the finest people, no pretensions to them whatsoever. You can talk to Prince Charles about anything." Billy nods. There's a silence. Just in time he asks, "What did you talk about?" "Hunting," the man answers. ↗

— Ben Fountain

#rich-people #royal-family #family

All the kids with fancy shoes or clothes, do you know what I got with a family of nine? When ever we said let's play poker, we had a full team of adults right there. ↗

— Julia Marriott

#fancy #fun #funny #kids #laugh

Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Funny thing- Morgenstern's folk's were named Max and Valerie and his father was a doctor. ↗

— William Goldman

#family #funny #miracle-max #s-morgenstern #the-princess-bride

I pee whilst seated. But it’s hard to focus with people honking at me.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #random #random-thought #silly

Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries. ↗