#funny

A brick can be used as a counting device, particularly if you only need to count up to one.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I glared at him. “You came all the way to Essex just to spy on us?” “Yeah.” He smirked. “I crossed the street. It was really rough. ↗

— Leila Sales

#funny #funny

When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dental-insurance #friendship #funny #humor #life

Was it a camp?" Daniel asked. Sean nodded. "A naturist camp." "Maya will feel right at home", Corey said from his spot on a wooden lawn chair. Daniel sputtered a laugh and Sean tried to hide his. "Naturist, not naturalist," I said. "It means nudist." Corey leaped up and spun. "You mean old, naked butts sat on those chairs? ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor-funny #home

I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian." He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--" I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #librarians #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Doing the limbo under a razor pendulum is a lot cheaper than having a caesarian in a hospital. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #pendulum #pregnancy #funny

Brilliance is impossible without a touch of insanity. ↗

— Skyla Madi

#humor #inspirational #skyla-madi #truth #funny

Bricks are independent but can work well with other, tough to crack, fiercely loyal and put in the right spot will hold anything and everything that you’ve ever held dear with the greatest of ease. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

Royce looked back down at the stream below. "She doesn't even know me. What if she doesn't like me? Few people do." "She might not at first. Maribor knows I didn't. But you have a way of growing on a person." He smiled. "You know, like lichen or mold. ↗

— Michael J. Sullivan

#giggles #hadrian #humor #royce #funny

Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year. ↗

— Derek The Ghost

#funny #horror #humor #scary #school