#funny

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #women #age

I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#funny #humor #intense #intensity #love

If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #penis #think #age

If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #lovers #age

I’m always the last in love by exactly one person. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

I want to write a song about the only girl I’ve ever loved. And the chorus will say something like, “I really want to see you tonight, so I hope you leave your blinds open. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #song #age

I keep my love in the fridge, next to my meat, because you simply can’t beat it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

At the age of four, I wanted to be eight. At the age of eight, I wanted to be 16. At the age of 16, when I started driving, I wanted to be a Ferrari. And now, at the age of middle, I want to be Stalin’s mustache and matching armpit hair. But only for personal reasons, not political. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #political #stalin #age

Love will make a man do some funny things, like tightrope walking across a telephone wire, rather than simply picking up the phone to call or text. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

I would give you all my love, but I’m afraid I’d get nothing in return. And coming from you, nothing is simply much more than I want. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age