#funny

And if I had a clone of myself, I’d seriously consider giving up my crime fighting to settle down in a serious relationship. Even though it would be a same sex relationship, dating your own clone definitely isn’t gay. And even though you are related to yourself, dating your own clone is not incest either. It’s merely self-love. It’s more like masturbation mixed with conversation. How many times have you longed for a talking penis? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #masturbation #dating

Sometimes no words come as a response, only shapes spring to mind. But after you tell me you love me, I can’t very well reply, “Hexagon! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hexagon #love #funny

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. ↗

— Ken Kesey

#funny #really #see #side #strong

I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people. ↗

— Kesha

#always #box #cardboard #cardboard box #care

I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me. ↗

— Daniel Dae Kim

#funny #home #i #laughing #me

That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. ↗

— Jimmy Kimmel

#authority #authority figures #boss #figures #flaw

When I’m in a relationship, I love like a burrito. And if you’re a taco, don’t talk to me. At our core we may seem similar, but trust me, we are two different items on the menu. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #funny

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. ↗

— Henry A. Kissinger

#already #cannot #crisis #full #next

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. ↗

— Henry A. Kissinger

#alternative #moderation #only #those #thought

My vanity is not dead. I laugh when I see pictures of myself as I am now-maybe so I won't cry, but just because it is really funny how much I've changed. ↗

— Michael Zaslow

#because #changed #cry #dead #funny