#funny

What was that?” I croaked. Akhol sidestepped into my view and towered over us. “It was a Demon.” “But you said—” “I know what I said,” Akhol cut in sharply, rubbing his eyes. “There was something wrong with it. Like the Demon had adapted to the darkness and water.” I shivered. “Did he have a ring that he called ‘my precious’?” I joked to try and lighten the mood. I didn’t get a good look at the Demon, but my mind had no problems picturing Gollum. They stared at me blankly. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#joke #timeless-series #funny

People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul... ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#kids-funny #parenting #suffering #funny

Ialways think it's funny when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, sure, the Indians and Pilgrims were best friends during the first Thanksgiving, but a few years later, the Pilgrims were shooting Indians. So I'm never quite sure why we eat Turkey like everybody else. (101) ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#indian #irony #pilgram #thanksgiving #funny

Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask. ‘No,’ says Amber. ‘Let’s do it. ↗

— Doug MacLeod

#humour #funny

No other foreskin could have caused such trouble. ↗

— Peter Manseau

#odd #oddity #relic #funny

By the power of the Tri-Force, I command you to "------- ↗

— Prashna Bari

#funny #link #shakespeare #triforce #zelda

What a host of little incidents, all deep-buried in the past -- problems that had once been urgent, arguments that had once been keen, anecdotes that were funny only because one remembered the fun. Did any emotion really matter when the last trace of it had vanished from human memory; and if that were so, what a crowd of emotions clung to him as to their last home before annihilation? He must be kind to them, must treasure them in his mind before their long sleep. ↗

— James Hilton

#funny

I'm not sure whether to be relieved she didn't hurt you or diappointed. Now he's going to think he got away with that junk." -Abby I wouldn't say that. He got a stern talking-to, but he already made great progress with his groveling lessons." -Sam ""Ill show you exactly how much progress I've made the next time I get you in a shower." -Noah "I'm gonna kill him! Did you hear that? You have to let me kill him." -Graham "Stay right where you are. There will be no killing. I thought I made that clear to everyone last night. Don't make me go over it again!" -Missy ↗

— Christine Warren

#funny

Pleased to meet you," Tellin says, shaking me out of my reverie. "Lily told me much about you last weekend." "Funny." Quince throws me a questioning glance. "She didn't mention you at all. ↗

— Tera Lynn Childs

#fins-are-forever #lily #lily-sanderson #mer-people #mermaid

Another reason is that the letters are almost always funny, offering readers the spectacle of some pompous self-celebrator given ample ironic room in which to parade his self-solicited hurt. ↗

— Paul Fussell

#funny