#funny

She bared her teeth at me. “Screw you, shifter!” “Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my bones just a second ago. ↗

— Cori Moore

#honeymoon #humour #innuendo #sarcastic-humor #shifter

Who’s driving the boat?” Over the motor, I heard girls screaming at us the instant before we crashed. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Love is as old as time, though it is considerably more difficult to stuff inside a watch. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #time #watch #age

I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil).
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor #love #sex

The reason faeries don't like iron is that it ties them too strongly to this world. The Paths aren't part of this world - you can't take iron there. It won't let you.' I frowned. "You do realize that makes no sense." 'Unlike being able to open a door in the wall and take you to another hemisphere in a matter of minutes? How odd. Everything about Faerie is usually so rational. ↗

— Kiersten White

#faerie #funny #iron #jack #funny

Love is like a brick, and love is like a blanket. What I mean by that is what I don't mean, and I don't mean anything. 
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor #love #age

Everyone should get to clobber a princess at least once," Jason said. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#pain #princess #funny

Oh! Do you have a pocketknife?" He narrowed his eyes at me. "Pocketknife?" "Don't men your age always have pocketknives?" I asked in a high-pitched voice. "My age? I'm not a fucking grandfather," he snapped. ↗

— Jenn Bennett

#cady #funny #lon #age

You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you," Garrett joked. ↗

— T.E. Sivec

#funny #garrett #haha #lol #parker

Sex with me has been described by more than one person as “Like making love to a brick.” Of course, you’re probably skeptical, because all men boast—exaggerate—about their sexual prowess. Rest assured, if that’s not the truth, it’s only because it’s an overstatement. A brick actually moves around more than I do.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor #love #sex