#funny

The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clever #cowboy #cowboys #creative #creativity

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#funny #gets #hilarious #hurt #just

Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do. ↗

— Dana Hill

#appreciate #aware #bad #become #been

I had a dream about you. We were ice fishing in my freezer. I caught a few cold beers, and you wondered if we should drink them, or throw them back because they were babies.
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week. ↗

— Eric Idle

#being #doing #every #funny #gang

My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#desire #flavor #food #funny #humor

You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny. ↗

— Steve Irwin

#bite #dynamite #even #fast #funny

Never put a sock in a toaster. ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#never #put #sock #toaster

I don't believe in magic. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny

I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day. ↗

— Magic Johnson

#because #day #funny #hiv #i