#funny

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. ↗

— James Thurber

#long #only #progress #right #too

What is the world coming to when girls allow their hands to be kissed without gloves? That young people don't use proper protection these days is exactly why there are always so many colds going around. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gloves #humor #illness #kissing

Go slowly, so that you do not bite your tail by accident. ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#truth #wisdom #funny

POZZO: I am blind. (Silence.) ESTRAGON: Perhaps he can see into the future. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#funny #future #humor #pessimism #funny

Funny how a melody sounds like a memory. ↗

— Eric Church

#eric-church #lyrics #music #springsteen #funny

Gay Sex Three, Straight Sex Nil ↗

— Dani Alexander

#m-m #mystery #ofy #romance #funny

When someone gives me either a democratic or republican pamphlet, I throw it in their face. I’m a librarian, damn it! We only take book donations. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #politics #funny

Quote: a banal proverb that is considered profound when uttered by a celebrity. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #quotes #funny

Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives. ↗

— Huntley Fitzpatrick

#humour #romance #young-adult #young-adult-romance #funny

You totally love him. He's your widdle snookums. ↗

— Thea Harrison

#paranormal-romance #romance #funny