#funny

I think I found your vampire,” Andrew said, except this time he wasn’t so amused. However, Gabriella was, her smile huge as she laughed, the sound a trill in the densely packed cold air. “You think this is funny?” The words came out surly, but Andrew couldn’t stop his lips from twitching over her amusement. “I thought they’d be bigger,” she said, stifling another round of giggles. “Are you okay?” “Just a flesh wound. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fantasy #fiction #key-of-pearl #laura-kreitzer #paranormal-fantasy

Excuse me, but where do you think you’re going?” I asked. “I figured I’d put my underwear in with yours. That way they could all get to know each other.” One brown eyebrow lifted. “Unless you want to make some formal introductions right now? ↗

— Michele Bardsley

#humor #inuendo #funny

Is it spoken word? Kinda, but that's a weird area. Is it comedy? Well, it's funny but no, it's not comedy. ↗

— Bruce McCulloch

#comedy #funny #kinda #spoken #spoken word

Ava said her hand accidentally slipped and made contact with her guy's nose. I said Repeatedly? And she said, 'Uh, yeah. I'm really clumsy. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#dallas #funny #funny

A brick could be used for a calf muscle implant for a bodybuilder who wants a competitive edge.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I know this is war, but the rest of us are trying to pretend it's a party. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#life #party #war #funny

A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Have you tried talking to her? No, Jace said, we've been punching her repeatedly in the face instead. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace #funny

Did the Ancient Greeks ever write anything funny—like slapstick? I mean, I think I speak for everyone when I say that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of well-written physical comedy. ↗

— Elle Lothlorien

#funny

I laughed. It was just like Owen to make excuses for someone else’s shortcomings. Even fictional characters. Owen found my tendency to speak my mind “refreshingly honest,” and hailed Marc’s temper as “a deep protective instinct.” He said Ethan “thoroughly enjoyed life,” and that Parker “really knew how to have a good time.” According to Owen, we were all doing just fine, and all was right with the world. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#funny