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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny
On my first date with Agatha, I wore tight green Spandex, which made my skinny legs look like asparagus. Knowing no heterosexual woman could resist such a temptation, I set out to seduce her. ↗
#delusional #funny #seduce #dating
Subject: Sundown Date: June 14 2011 09:35 To: Christian Grey Dear Completely & Utterly Smitten I love waking up with you, too. But I love being in bed with you and in elevators and on pianos and billiard tables and boats and desks and showers and bathtubs and strange wooden crosses with shackles and four poster beds with red satin sheets and boathouses and childhood bedrooms. Yours Sex Mad and Insatiable xx ↗
Listen up cowboy, I don’t need my mind changed. I’m perfectly fine the way things are and you don’t know a damned thing about me so if you don’t mind, I really need to get home. Goodbye Tyler.” I turned on my heel and started walking. “Princess, get in the truck, I’ll give you a lift.” He called. “No!” I shouted over my shoulder and kept on walking. “What’s a man got to do for a date with you?!” He shouted back. Oh My God really? “For starters use proper grammar! ↗
Maybe a friend is someone who wants your updates. Even if they're boring. Or sad. Or annoyingly cutesy. A friend says "Sign me up for your boring crap, yes indeed"--because he likes you anyways. He'll tolerate your junk ↗
#funny #sweet #true #friendship
