#funny

Nature abhors a vacuum. She is mostly made of dirt, after all. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #nature #void #funny

He blinked a few times, each motion so slow that he was never quite sure if he’d get his eyes open again. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. Funny how he was only just realizing it. Funnier still that he couldn’t seem to summon any concern for her maidenly sensibilities. She might be blushing. He couldn’t tell. It was too dark to see. But it didn’t matter. This was Honoria. She was a good egg. A sensible egg. She wouldn’t be scarred forever by the sight of his chest. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #just-like-heaven #marcus #funny

Is that clear?" said Borcht "as clear as pea soup" I said ↗

— James Patterson

#funny

I had a funny feeling as I saw the house disappear, as though I had written a poem and it was very good and I had lost it and would never remember it again. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#crime #marlowe #noir #funny

The nice thing about wading in earthly pleasures is that if you make it to heaven, the landfills are full of pruned feathers and God’s silky beard trimmings. And if you don’t make it to heaven, at least you’ll have fond memories of the air-conditioned garbage truck. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #garbage #humor #funny

I hate stand-up comics; I think funny is something you are, not something you desperately try to be in front of a roomful of obnoxious people. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#funny

Lepida, has anyone ever told you that you're a cruel spiteful selfish slut?...You're vicious. You're unprincipled. You mistreat your slaves and abuse your daughter. And furthermore you're the worst, most neglectful, most criminal wife in Rome. I think we can go now. ↗

— Kate Quinn

#comeback #funny #insult #kate-quinn #mistress-of-rome

Not saving you from this storm, mutant,” he said. “Saving you for your later fate, we are.” His voice was weirdly inflected and metallic, like an automated answering machine. “Oh, good. Yoda captured us,” Fang whispered. ↗

— James Patterson

#lol #machine #mutant #robot #star-wars

Love is relentless, and so am I ;) ↗

— Keisha Keenleyside

#funny-quotes #happy-quotes #humour-quote #love-quotes #quotes

Everybody just lets the media do their thinking for them... that's why you'll never hear any reggae on the radio! ↗

— Daniel Clowes

#funny