#funny

Point is, maybe some people wouldn't want to be around me all day, but there are people out there who would. And they're smart and funny. And they like some of the same things I like and hate some of the things I hate, but they also introduce me to all kinds of new things. That's as close to 'meant to be' as I can imagine. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#romance #funny

You take I-55 south, and you'll run into I-20. Or you could take..." I was about to be overloaded with information. "Oh that sounds just perfect. Let me do just that, or I'll lose track." Sure, glad I could help." Oh, you surely did." We beamed at each other, just two nice women. I had to fight an impulse to say "I have a tortured vampire in trunk," out of sheer giddiness. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #funny

You all right, man?' This should be my name. I could be like a super hero: You All Right Man. Ah...' I stumble. Don't bug Craig,' Ronny is like. 'He's in the Craig zone. He's Craig-ing out. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#funny

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping? ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #indeed #wonder #funny

Her eyes went so wide they nearly bulged. It was probably wrong of me to find that amusing. Or to want to take a photo of Nicholas with his fangs out and wearing a black cape lined with red satin and then hang it over my pillow in a heart-shaped frame. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#lucy #vampires #funny

Pleased to meet you." Sage said, offering his hand. "The pleasure is all mine," Rayna Purred. "Unless ofcourse, it's all Clea's which is even better." Sage smiled and might have even blushed a bit, which was highly entertaining. ↗

— Hilary Duff

#funny #rayna #sage #sweet #funny

Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #sore-loser #funny

I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bits. It was the best sex I’ve ever served to an unsuspecting customer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #customer #dining #food #funny

Sophie, honey, stop looking at me like that,” Garrett said gruffly. “You’ll have me convinced I’m going to die.” “You’re not? ↗

— Maya Banks

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side. ↗

— Parker Posey

#casting #comedy #deep #depression #flip