#funny

I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world? ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#artists #artsy #being-practical #cooking #creativity

You saved Dad's life. If anyone's got the right to eavesdrop on him, it's you. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny

These days, rock 'n' roll is much more about rock than about roll. I don't do rock. But I'm interested in that roll part, because that's the funny little bit that makes it hip. ↗

— Nick Lowe

#because #bit #days #funny #hip

I bought a zoo, which is funny, because I own the very place that should own me. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#own #zoo #funny

A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and intellectually.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Love isn’t a series of slogans like “Just do it,” “It’s the real thing,” or “Go ahead, stick it in my butt.” Love is much more than that. Love is also a logo. I know, because I have it tattooed on my ass. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #logo #love #nike #slogan

Excuse me, but where do you think you’re going?” I asked. “I figured I’d put my underwear in with yours. That way they could all get to know each other.” One brown eyebrow lifted. “Unless you want to make some formal introductions right now? ↗

— Michele Bardsley

#humor #inuendo #funny

Is it spoken word? Kinda, but that's a weird area. Is it comedy? Well, it's funny but no, it's not comedy. ↗

— Bruce McCulloch

#comedy #funny #kinda #spoken #spoken word

Ava said her hand accidentally slipped and made contact with her guy's nose. I said Repeatedly? And she said, 'Uh, yeah. I'm really clumsy. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#dallas #funny #funny

...it woke me up, got me focused back on my current tasks: find Libby, save Libby, find James, kiss James, maul James, press James for details on Stiles, find Stiles, fight Stiles, find Morgan, find his bride, make them fall in love, make Naomi understand, make Libby normal again, kiss James again, eat a few prices of fruit. Total order. ↗

— Beth Bloom

#humor #run-on-sentence #run-on-sentence-award #funny