#funny

Turner let his face fell into his hands. "I'm never going to touch her again", he moaned. "He's never going to touch me again!" they heard Miranda roar."Well,it doesn't look like you'll have much argument from your wife on that point", Olivia chirped. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#funny

His green eyes blazed with desire; such a different look than I'd known before. Chase had studied me, reading my feelings. Tucker was only trying to see his own reflection. Disturbing on several levels. ↗

— Kristen Simmons

#inspiring #poetic #funny

You said she's a senior? Babe we're ALL crazy. ↗

— Cecily von Ziegesar

#crazy #funny #girl #gossip #love

It's a funny place, this world. Hate has rights. Love has none. ↗

— Torey Hayden

#truth #funny

The first time I saw Agatha she gave me a double wink. Most men might have interpreted it as a blink, but I saw it as a sexually developed ambidextrous double wink. Such talent! Such desire! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #wink #funny

I’m nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in another. Instead of railroad tracks converging in the distance, the workers got lazy halfway there and switched from building one side of the track to the other. So when my brother was standing in front of an oncoming train, I told him not to be worried – the tracks are still under construction. I just never expected the train to have hovering technology. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #trains #vision #funny

There is no logic in logics except an illogical logic. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#logic #logics #funny

• If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #funny

What's a slut?" I ask him. "A girl who puts out too easily." "Puts out what?" I imagine Greer putting out dinner and don't understand what Iwan wouldn't like about that. "Puts out, you know..." His face, already beet red from our run, turns a darker scarlet. "Sex." I wonder where Greer puts the sex out. ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#funny #ya #funny

I know the path by heart, by heart- a funny expression, so true. My heart knows right where to go. ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#heart #love #unearthly #funny