#funny

I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #mannequins #funny

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. ↗

— Dave Barry

#blocks #building #building blocks #fire #four

I've got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before 'thin'. And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#girls #thin #funny

Did I ever tell you the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern one?" she asked him, indulging herself and letting her head rest on his shoulder. God, he felt good. Her man. Where her head was meant to lie, right there, on him. "What's the difference?" "A Northern one starts 'once upon a time,' while a Southern one starts 'y'all ain't going to believe this shit. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#fairy-tales #funny #funny

Ooh, big day in town for our park warden,” I said. “They’re even making you wear the uniform. Hayley’s mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it.” Dad turned as red as his hair. Mom’s laugh floated out from her studio. “Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#embarrassing #funny-humor #funny

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. ↗

— Jean Baudrillard

#adult #children #demand #festival #funny

Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma that beckons me like a fluff girl on scuffed knees. ↗

— Brett Tate

#funny #humor #humour #memoir #sex

I allow a lot of room for improvisation and funny stuff. I always feel planned. ↗

— Michael Bay

#always #feel #funny #funny stuff #i

Shepley stomped into the apartment and slammed the door behind him. “She’s fucking impossible!” I kissed Travis on the cheek. “That’s my cue.” “Good luck,” Travis said. I slid in beside America, and she huffed. “He’s fucking impossible! ↗

— Jamie McGuire

#funny-couples #humorus-fights #ironic #laugh-out-loud #love

There are a lot of funny people and a lot of unfunny people. Some of them are women and some of them are dudes. ↗

— Lake Bell

#funny #funny people #lot #people #some