#funny

Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

Men were good for one thing only. Killing spiders. Other than that, I was on my own. It was sad though. Where was the chivalry of yesteryear? ↗

— Kate Carlisle

#funny #kate-carlisle #funny

Love liberates one from the oppression of independence. It locks one out of the egalitarianism of solitary confinement. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #love #prison #freedom

Adamant," Doren said proudly, handing over the shield. "We fished it out of the tar pit where we found the shirt of mail." "Probably all belonged to the same careless adventurer," Newel speculated. "Too much money, not enough talent. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor #money #talent #funny

Especially well known around the office is my weakness for dyspareunist women. Most people would find such disparity in unity repelling, but it harmonizes perfectly with my personal tastes. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #harmony #funny

...what was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you couldn't remember what you did, and then somebody shot you. ↗

— Anne Rice

#werewolf-tales #wolf-man #funny

It's like one of those scenes from a feel-good Hollywood movie. Where everybody is happy and nobody's hair fizzes in the wind. Where it doesn't rain, your shoes stay comfortable all day, and everybody's jokes are funny. ↗

— Randa Abdel-Fattah

#feel-good #friends #happy #funny

He checked out his surrounding. More books. A drinking fountain. A poster showing a guy slam-dunking a basketball with one hand and holding a book in the other, urging kids to READ! Weird, thought Steve. How can he even see the hoop? ... You see, Steven, Librarians are the most elite, best trained secret force in the United States of America. Probably in the world." "No way." "Yes way." "What about the FBI?" "Featherweights." "The CIA?" Mackintosh snorted. "Don't make me laugh. Those guys can't even dunk a basketball andd read a book at the same time. ↗

— Mac Barnett

#fbi #funny #librarians #funny

I handed him a beaker and toyed with the pleats of my skirt. The folds kept rippling against my knees in a distracting way. It was one of Naomi's additions to my wardrobe. I quickly decided that I hated it. ↗

— Andrea Cremer

#funny #humor #skirt #werewolf #funny

Lia let out a low growl and moved her arrow to the base of his fat throat. "What do you think, Gabi? Would you like to see these nuptials through?" "Not this day," I said "How about on the morrow?" Marcello asked, smiling and lifting my hand to his lips. "If I am your groom?" "Hold that eHarmony thought," Lia whispered in English. "We gotta get out of here. ↗

— Lisa Tawn Bergren

#funny #gabriella #lia #marcello #funny