#funny

They say money talks, but all mine ever says is 'good-bye sucker. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#funny #romance #funny

Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use. ↗

— Mark Twain

#funny #humour #review #funny

I love apricots. They’re so fuzzy they’re furry. They’re like little pets you can eat legally. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #furry #pets #funny

No matter how hard you try looking for love, Orafoura once told me, the last place you’ll find it is in another man’s ass. But that may not be true, because the last time I lost my boxing gloves, that’s exactly where I found them. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #funny

As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing. ↗

— Andy Milonakis

#hates #his #i #i think #kind

Bachelorhood: all the fun of married life and more prosperity, leaving lots of descendants to boast of their father’s memory to their fellow inmates. ↗

— Bauvard

#children #funny #funny

Though the funny thing about never being asked for anything is that after a while you start to feel like maybe you don’t have anything worth giving. ↗

— Lev Grossman

#worth #funny

I’m always hearing that everyone needs someone to love, but I just don’t think people are interchangeable like that. ↗

— Bauvard

#love #funny

I am the Anagram of Love. I’m not evil, but I am evol. I guess this also makes me the Palindrome of Love! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #palindrome #funny

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect. ↗

— Alanis Morissette

#just #love #love you #perfect #way