#funny

IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#ron-weasley #death

Oh, of course," said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. "I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #death

Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #war #death

I breathe onto a mirror just to make sure I’m still alive, and to see how good looking my breath is. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#breathe #death #funny #mirror #vain

-My son was 32 when he died.
 -Degrees? So he froze to death, huh? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny-dialogue #death

But...that doesn't make any sense...!' 'It does if you're a goat. ↗

— Linda Medley

#goats #logic #funny

I think you inhaled too much lead from those scantron sheets ↗

— Simon Holt

#funny #simon-holt #soulstice #funny

We tend to get a little information before we off people. It’s not a play by ear sort of deal. ↗

— Holly Hood

#funny #life #death

At the point of her death, I felt a particular pang, but I can’t remember now. I tried to recall it earlier but could not. I remember thinking it wasn’t worth remembering, but I don’t remember what was so unforgettable and unimportant as to ascribe the label of “forgettable.” If it was all the way forgettable, I wouldn’t have dwelled on it, and if it was really important, I would have remembered. So it must have been an in the middle thought, closer to forgettable, but at least worth pondering its merits for a moment. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#memory #death

My couch is my deathbed, and I won’t let my life get repossessed. ↗

— Bauvard

#death #funny #humor #life #repossession