#funny

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago." "Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear? ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#funny-and-random #funny

I think sometimes my humor is extremely dry, and a lot of times I would say things that I thought were very funny but... I have a reputation of - people think of me as a very fundamentalist, humorless fellow. ↗

— Ian MacKaye

#extremely #fellow #fundamentalist #funny #humor

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ↗

— W. Clement Stone

#contemptible #cork #lunch #scoundrel #stolen

My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic. ↗

— Eric Stonestreet

#enthusiastic #funny #mom #passionate #very

When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that. ↗

— Jason Sudeikis

#because #better #folks #funny #handle

He should probably make love to her. ↗

— Tara Janzen

#funny #humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that. ↗

— Wanda Sykes

#course #funny #get #hurdles #i

I was shown into a room. A red room. Red wallpaper, red curtains, red carpet. They said it was a sitting-room, but I don’t know why they’d decided to confine its purpose just to sitting. Obviously, sitting was one of the things you could do in a room this size; but you could also stage operas, hold cycling races, and have an absolutely cracking game of frisbee, all at the same time, without having to move any of the furniture. It could rain in a room this big. ↗

— Hugh Laurie

#enormous #funny #hyperbole #rooms #funny

My family's always been really funny. I feel like comedy's hard. I feel like it's so important. ↗

— Christine Taylor

#been #comedy #family #feel #funny

Awesome." "Awesome squared." "Awesome cubed." "Awesome to the power of infinity." "The square root of awesome is-" "-Asha." We finish at the same time and laugh. ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#funny #humor #funny