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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.


E.W. Howe


#husband #man #marriage #men #wife

I’m writing my next book under a pseudonym. It will be Mark Twain’s best young adult romance.


Benson Bruno


#humor #writing #funny

I want to know what it’s like to feel affection, compassion, kindness. I want to touch a wimp. But just a light brush against the clothes.


Benson Bruno


#humor #sympathy #funny

I left my phone number on a napkin, along with trace amounts of spaghetti sauce and garlic bread grease, hoping she’d call me. And when she didn’t, I panicked and filed a missing person’s report with the police.


Jarod Kintz


#hope #panic #funny

There are several theories on sex and all of them are lies.


Santosh Kalwar


#lies #sex #theories #funny

A politician is a politician whether he's wearing a suit or a funny hat.


Reza Aslan


#hamid-karzai #politicians #politics #funny

If fucking up is power, I should be the Hulk by now.


Richard Kadrey


#power #funny

Ichirou: And I went through all the trouble preparing to explode with laughter...That wasn't funny at all!


Kou Matsuzuki


#funny

Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!


Terry Pratchett


#funny #humour #religion #funny

I've lived a full life. I never once went hungry.


Bauvard


#funny #humor #hunger #life #funny






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