#funny

Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked a joint. I'll be honest with you. That's the truth. ↗

— Stephen Baldwin

#funny #get #go #had #honest

I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable. ↗

— Lake Bell

#always #am #because #continue #dairy

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. ↗

— Robert Benchley

#about #absolutely #absolutely nothing #fairly #great

What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating. ↗

— Scott Hamilton

#best #best friend #called #figure #figure skating

It's funny, when you become an actor and you're successful, they don't want to talk about acting any more. 'Hey let's talk about that stuff you were fired from.' ↗

— Nicholas Brendon

#acting #actor #any #become #fired

If you want to change the world, just change yourself. The world needs traitors. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #treason #change

The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #change

I know I shouldn't say this—I know it as surely as I know the earth is round and beats are evil—and yet here it comes: “It's not too late to change your mind. ↗

— Sara Zarr

#change

If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#funny #humor #lol #sanya #the-dresden-files

Dear Mind, why do you keep talking to yourself? Mind: Don't blame me for your stupid Faceboook status messages & tweets. ↗

— Saurabh Sharma

#funny #humor-inspirational #twitter-addiction #inspirational