#funny

Yeah, Vi, unless Armageddon hit while i was fuckin' you this morning and we missed it, I'm thinkin' grocery stores still exist and they're all still stocked. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#end-of-the-world #funny #humor #funny

If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich...not Dick. Hell I'd even settle for being called Chard. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor #names #funny

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#humor #writer #funny

The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #pain #pleasure #funny

What's funny about that is when I was writing Twilight just for myself and not thinking of it as a book, I was not thinking about publishing, and yet at the same time I was casting it in my head. Because when I read books, I see them very visually. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#because #book #books #casting #funny

Movies don't look hard, but figuring it out, getting the shape of it, getting everybody's character right and having it be funny, make sense and be romantic, it's creating a puzzle. Yes, having been a writer for so long, I have an awareness of when things are going awry, but it doesn't mean I know how to fix them. ↗

— Nancy Meyers

#awry #been #character #creating #everybody

I want you to say dreadfully mad, funny things and make up songs and be--' The Will I fell in love with, she almost said. "And be Will," she finished instead. "Or I shall hit you with my umbrella." *** "You would make a very ugly woman." "I would not. I would be stunning." Tessa laughed. “There,” she said. “There is Will. Isn’t that better? Don’t you think so?” “I don’t know,” Will said, eyeing her. “I’m afraid to answer that. I’ve heard that when I speak, it makes American women wish to strike me with umbrellas. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #funny

All I can think about is bed." "We're sharing the same thought." "You're thinking about bed too?" But Patch had told me that he rarely slept. "I'm thinking about you in my bed. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#finale #funny #hush-hush #love #nora-and-patch

I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #music #funny

Claire said. “I might be able to get him to stop.” “Who, crazy dude? Maybe. Or he might pull your head off,” Shane said. “I kind of worry.” She couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah?” “A little bit.” “That’s …nice.” He studied her, and returned the smile. “Yeah,” he said. “Kind of is, actually. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass