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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




Eddie Money and Johnny Cash should have collaborated. I’d have paid good last name to see them in concert. 
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#eddie-money #funny #humor #johnny-cash #last-name

A brick could be used as a musical instrument. It doesn’t matter how bad it sounds, because I’ll be the band’s lead singer, and my sexy voice is like melted butter on a corn on the cob lodged directly into your anus. 
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Well, more or less, you just got struck by lightning." "Wait, what?" My brain stopped processing for a prolonged moment unable to wrap around that one. How the hell had that happened? "So basically I was filled with 1.21 jiggawatts? Can I travel through time now? ↗


— Elizabeth Sharp


#humor #humour #nature

Of course, he said, he who is of a certain nature, is like those who are of a certain nature; he who is not, not. ↗


— Plato


#philosophy #truth #nature

You - it's your nature - you are an incorrigible madcap! You bewitch a poor wretch until he doesn't know his head from his heels - puts his feet into his hat and covers his scalp with his boots! You are a will-o'-the-wisp who lures a poor fellow on through woods, bogs and briars, until you land him in the quicksands! You whirl him around and around until he grows dizzy and delirious, and talks at random, and then you'd have him called out, you blood-thirsty little vixen! I tell you, Cousin Cap, if I were to take up all the quarrels your hoydenism might lead me into, I should have nothing else to do! ↗


— E.D.E.N. Southworth


#funny #humor #humour #nature

Safe gender is being who and what we want to be when we want to be that, with no threat of censure or violence. Safe gender is going as far in any direction as we wish, With no threat to our health, or anyone else’s. Safe gender is not being pressured into passing, not Having to lie, not having to hide. Sane gender is asking questions about gender - talking To people who do gender, and opening up about our Gender histories and our gender desires. Sane gender is probably very, very funny. Consensual gender is respecting each others’ definition Of gender, and respecting the wishes of some to be alone, And respecting the intentions of others to be inclusive in Their own time. Consensual gender is non-violent in that it doesn’t force Its way in on anyone. Consensual gender opens its arms and welcomes all People as gender outcasts - whoever is willing to admit it. ↗


— Kate Bornstein


#funny

There are few things more mysterious than endings. I mean, for example, when did the Greek gods end, exactly? Was there a day when Zeus waved magisterially down from Olympus and Aphrodite and her lover Ares, and her crippled husband Hephaestus ) I always felt sorry for him), and all the rest got rolled up like a worn-out carpet? ↗


— Salley Vickers


#era #funny #gods #greek #irony

I feel like I've been ironing all day in high heels and no brassiere. ~Tizzy Donovan, Laid Out and Candle Lit ↗


— Ann Everett


#humor #mystery #romantic-comedy #texas #romantic

Our conversation starts out pretty normal. Matthew does most of the talking, as usual. He tells me about Wesley. He tells me everything. Well, almost everything. I was lucky enough to stop him before he got into the explicit details. Wesley also helped by nudging him with his shoulder. He even covered Matthew's mouth when the conversation took a sudden turn because the word package was used. Yeah, the conversation went from sweet and romantic to soft-core porn in about two seconds. ↗


— L. Arthur


#romantic

A brick could be used to liven up urinal chatter. Also, instead of just repeating “Yeah” while the guy peeing next to you is talking, try a more positive affirmation, like pinching his butt cheek. 
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny






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