#funny

I don't hafta taste it to know it taste funny. It already looks like it taste funny. ↗

— Dennis the Menace

#funny

Am Anfang war Gott? It may have been true, but it was not germane. ↗

— Stephen Craig

#funny #god #philosophical #funny

Earthquakes were extremely uncommon in this area. A dragon and a unicorn playing tag wasn't. ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#random #funny

Could you bring me to Rita’s house before we go to the airport?” I ask. “There’s one last thing I need to ask her to do.” “That is on the other side of the river,” says Ethan.“I know. But I need to see her. Please, I’ll be eternally grateful.” He doesn’t say anything, but instead puts the car in gear and starts the engine. After we are driving for about two minutes he asks. “How grateful?” Ah, I see the old Ethan hasn’t disappeared then. I smile and lean over to place a light peck on his cheek. “This grateful,” I say to him.“Hmm, I think you can do better than that,” he chides in good humor. “You’re driving,” is all I say in reply. “I can pull over,” he answers smartly. ↗

— L.H. Cosway

#ethan-and-tegan #flirting #funny #humor #funny

Though I have started emailing with one of my fellow readers whenever there's something important to say about Modern Family or Friday Night Lights, and with another when I notice her updates on Goodreads.com. ↗

— Rachel Bertsche

#goodreads #nonfiction #family

...our witness, one Edward Littleton, was a gay as Elton John's handbag. ↗

— Ann Somerville

#funny #gay #homosexuality #humor #humour

Bailey, where’s your hat?” “In my pocket, sir!” “Why isn’t it on your head?” “Because I can’t get my head in my pocket, sir! ↗

— Robyn Carr

#humour #funny

I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

This quote will self-destruct in....4....3....2...1...Just kidding...Or am I? ↗