#funny

I think so,” she [Claire] said. “Just watch your back, okay?” “Nah, Michael’s got mine.” He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes. “I’ve got yours. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humorous #ironic #irony #funny

Marc’s hand tightened visibly around Kevin’s fingers, his digits going white. Again. Both men clenched their jaws, Kevin in pain, and Marc in an obvious effort to control his temper and keep from breaking Kevin’s hand. Off. Why couldn’t guys find a more original way to test each other’s manly prowess? Arm wrestling might have been more subtle. Or maybe comparing the length of their…canines. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#funny

One day you’re innocent, then circumstances find you in an unlikely situation and you wonder how you could have been so stupid. I suppose I should be thankful. Being framed for a crime is all a part of growing up. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #innocence #maturity #funny

It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him. ↗

— Cherie Priest

#men-in-uniform #funny

There was no doubt in my mind that Daemon believed revenge was a dish best served in my face. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor #funny

I love New York. You can pop out of the Underworld in Central Park, hail a taxi, head down Fifth Avenue with a giant hellhound loping along behind you, and nobody even looks at you funny. Of course, the Mist helped. People probably couldn't see Mrs. O'Leary, or maybe they thought she was a large,loud,very friendly truck. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#new-york-city #percy-jackson #funny

What is it about hairdressers? You tell them 'not too short' and some part of their hairdresser brain hears this as 'whack the shit out of it.' If you never say, 'not too short,' everything is fine. You say it, & it's a guarantee you'll come out ready for the military> ↗

— Deb Caletti

#funny

It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m just a kitten. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dog #funny #humor #kitten #funny

There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say that smell is asbestos. ↗

— Scott Douglas

#libraries #funny