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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




Regin the Radiant and Emmaline Troy: 'Alrighty then, have it your way- you're on your own... Now, if you come across a leech, no offense, remember your training.' 'None taken. And would that be the sword training where you fly past my defenses and swat me on the ass, chirping, 'Dead!'? Another swat. 'Dead!'? Yeah, I'll get right on that.' 'No, that would be the training where you sprint like hell whenever you hear that I'm looking for you to train. ↗


— Kresley Cole


#kresley-cole #romance #funny

I rolled my eyes. “Do all narcotics officers lack basic human compassion, or were you just not hugged enough as a child?” Trust Me ↗


— L.A. Witt


#funny

Mallory dropped her head to the steering wheel. "Look, I'm mad at you, okay? This isn't about me. I know my painful memories are relative. My life is good. I'm lucky. This isn't about how poor little Mallory has had it so hard. I'm not falling apart or anything." He stroked a hand down her back. "Of course you're not. You're just holding the steering wheel up with your head for a minute, that's all. ↗


— Jill Shalvis


#poignant #funny

To stop smelling is to stop breathing; people only really inhale the essence of life when they pass gas. ↗


— Bauvard


#farting #funny #humor #life #funny

Nothing ruins a good thing quite like knowing you share your opinions with mindless little tits. ↗


— Yahtzee Croshaw


#fans #funny-but-true #opinions #funny

Bella,leave the aggressive stuff to me." My heart quirks in my chest. I may not like this guy but that sounded so hot. "Um..." Focus,focus. "What? ↗


— Jenny B. Jones


#hot #sexy #funny

Mortimer had maxed three credit cards stocking the cave with canned goods and medical supplies and tools and everything a man needed to live through the end of the world. There were more than a thousand books along shelves in the driest part of the cave. There used to be several boxes of pornography until Mortimer realized that he'd spent nearly ten days in a row sitting in the cave masturbating. He burned the dirty magazines to keep from doing some terrible whacking injury to himself. ↗


— Victor Gischler


#funny #funny

You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard. ↗


— Wendelin Van Draanen


#hehe #funny

That's the funny thing about America--the blessed thing. As many people as there are to hold you back, there are angels whose humanity makes up for all the others. I've had my share of angels. ↗


— Abraham Verghese


#funny

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. ↗


— Steven Wright


#humor #funny






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