#funny

I'm still a nobody, when am I not going to be a nobody? ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#questions-in-life #struggles #funny

Cooking without wine is like sex alone. You may get the job done, but you don't really care once it's over. ↗

— Andrew Grey

#funny #sex #funny

What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. ↗

— Stephen King

#funny #humourous #funny

I'm never wrong, except when I'm wrong. ↗

— Ben D.

#funny

You're kidding, right?" Ezra barked. "We're not just going to wait." "I suppose we could help people clean up a bit," "Girl!" Ezra called out. "Big eyes!" Winter turned from what she was looking at. "Are you talking to me? ↗

— Obert Skye

#funny

I like mountains, always have done. Big obstinate bits of rock sticking up where they're not wanted and getting in folk's way. Great. Climbing them is a different matter altogether though. I hate that. ↗

— Mark Lawrence

#funny #humour #mountains #funny

Dude,” I said low. “All cornfields are haunted. Trust me. I know.” Then I came up on my elbows so I was closer to him and I said quietly, “They whisper to you.” ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#funny

what if they make me stay? To keep me safe?”“I wouldn’t, if I were them.” “What do you mean?”“Any minute now . . .”Two seconds later, the sound of an alarm filled my ears. “What did you do?” I said over the noise as he backed up toward the bathroom door. “The girl who gave you the note?” “Yes . . .” “I caught her staring at my lighter.” I blinked. “You gave a child, in a psych ward, a lighter. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#timing #funny

When they’re together, the world could fall apart around them and they’d never notice or care as long as they have each other. About Alex and Brittany. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

I stared at Irys. My Story Weaver had to be laughing his blue ass off right now. My future appeared to be a long twisted road fraught with knots, tangles and traps. Just the way I liked it. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#funny #funny