#funny

The good, the bad, and the ugly basically sums up my sex life. Except that I’ve never had the good. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #sex-life #funny

I need a Caution: Slippery When Wet sign, because I just spilled my ego all over the floor.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ego #floor #funny #humor #need

I hate witches. Humans had the right idea, burning them at the stake. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#funny #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #witches #funny

I guess I can't blame him for feeling bitter. Going from being the terror of Bulgarian nights to a janitor would kinda suck ↗

— Kiersten White

#funny #kiersten-white #paranormalcy #funny

Still, the painful death of that unicorn had been satisfying to watch ↗

— Bruce Coville

#death

what would you call this haircut?" arthur. ↗

— George Harrison

#hard-days-night #humor #laugh #funny

I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursely. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#ignorance #funny

If You're Gonna Ride My Ass, At Least Pull My Hair! ↗

— S.C. Stephens

#funny

For someone so conflicted, who am I to give advice to anybody? It’s such a funny, grandiose idea ↗

— Florence Welch

#florence-welch #music #musicians #funny

I was flipping channels, watching this cheerleading program on MTV. They took a field hockey girl and “transformed” her into a cheerleader by the end of the show. I was just wondering: what if she liked field hockey better? ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion