#funny

Life is hard. After all, it kills you. ↗

— Katharine Hepburn

#after #hard #kills #life #life is hard

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. ↗

— Oliver Herford

#changes #cleaner #man #mind #more

For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents. ↗

— James Herriot

#bore #funny #i #incidents #lunch

When we lost something precious, and we'd looked and looked and still couldn't find it, then we didn't have to be completely heartbroken. We still had that last bit of comfort, thinking one day, when we grow up, and we were free to travel around the counry, we would always go and find it in Norfolk...And that's why years and years later, that day Tommy and I found another copy of that lost tape of mine in a town on the Norfolk coast, we didn't just think it pretty funny; we both felt deep down some tug, some old wish to believe again in something that was once close to our hearts. ↗

— Kazuo Ishiguro

#finding #loss #funny

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#law #funny

Pride is a funny thing; it can make what is truly worthless appear to be a treasure. ↗

— Alice Hoffman

#funny

How much detention did you get? "Two weeks. One per arsehole. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#funny

My parents didn't raise me to be religious. The closest we come to worship is the Trinity of Visa, Mastercard, and American Express. I think the Merryweather cheerleaders confuse me because I missed out on Sunday School. It has to be a miracle. There is no other explanation. How else could they sleep with the football team on Saturday night and be reincarnated as virginal goddesses on Monday? ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#funny #funny

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#always #enjoyed #funny #get #i

If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious. ↗

— Tom Hiddleston

#always #best #comedy #down #funny