#funny

I actually went to see 'Rushmore,' and I came late, and I missed myself. It was great, that scene. I caught that scene the other day on TV, funny enough, the first scene that you see with Jason Schwartzman and myself, where we talk about his grades. That's a brilliant scene, and I have to say, we play it brilliantly. ↗

— Brian Cox

#actually #brilliant #brilliantly #came #caught

I found out a long time ago that if I didn't have a good story for a song, I could just make one up! Now it seems over half the stories in my show are made up. The funny thing is, those seem to be the ones that resonate the most with the audiences. ↗

— Ronny Cox

#audiences #could #found #funny #funny thing

Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #midget #age

I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

I remember certain people in the audience laughing and I wanted to ask: 'What are you laughing at? This isn't funny.' Now I realize that laughter can come from insecurity. They don't know how they should be feeling. ↗

— Jim Dale

#audience #certain #come #feeling #funny

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to. ↗

— Paula Danziger

#funny #people #respond #sad

Afternoon experience: autographing exposed legs, outstretched in lines like matchsticks. Afternoon epiphany: Those with smooth, hairless legs would soon lose all evidence of my contact when the sweat causes the ink from the marker to run. I am ephemeral. Skepticism would be the reaction to those with thick leg hair, as their curls frazzle the lines of my name outward illegibly. Among the scaly-legged, I flaked off immediately, like I never was at all. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#epiphany #existentialism #funny-and-random #legs #experience

I want to drown in all the ink used to write positive things about my clone and how great he is. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #greatness #humor #ink

I saw that office display the other day at the modern gallery. I just didn’t know what I was looking at. A still life of a secretary’s cluttered desk? A sunset over a mountainous landscape of cash? I don’t understand richy people. Think they’re so profound, so much better than everybody else. They’re just trying to compensate for their melancholy, eccentric natures, their loneliness. It must be awful to own a fortune 500 company. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#avant-garde #business #funny #wealth #art

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny. ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#amazingly #bad #funny #guy #i