#funny

There never was a man with such a face as yours, unless it was your father, and I suppose he is singeing his grizzled red beard by this time, unless you came straight from the old un without any father at all betwixt you; which I shouldn't wonder at, a bit. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#funny

Lachlain and Emma: 'So you expect us to sit in this enclosed compartment the entire way in silence?' 'Of course not.' She clicked on the radio. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #lachlain-macrieve #funny

Isn't it funny how ignorance is the source of strength of so many? ↗

— Lionel Suggs

#strength #funny

Miłość jest jak wędlina: jest salami i jest mortadela. ↗

— Carlos Ruiz Zafón

#life #love #funny

=> When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. => Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. => It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#mystery-suspense #romance-funny #funny

Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes. ↗

— Jen Lancaster

#funny

Why is abbreviation such a long word? ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

Man, Grandma, what big hair you have." "The better to style with, my dear. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#fairy-tales #funny #hair #red-riding-hood #funny

Why do you smoke so damn fast?" I asked. She looked at me and smiled widely, and such a wide smile on her narrow face might have looked goofy were it not for the unimpeachably elegant green in her eyes. She smiled with all the delight of a kid on Christmas morning and said, "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die. ↗

— John Green

#funny

It is not really hard to do nothing. Many can. The hard part is doing nothing without feeling guilty about it. ↗

— Haim Shapira

#happiness #wisdom #funny