#funny

Adam's hot Pheebs! Admit it girl. That body is like some kind of happy experiment. It's like he was manufactured in a nympho scientist's secret laboratory ↗

— Daniel Waters

#generation-dead #margi #experience

Love is wealth, and the wealthy get taxed heavily. The universe is God’s welfare system, and communion is like standing in line for food stamps. When I get to the front, I’m chugging the wine. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #money #food

I doubt she likes the idea of seeing him put back in a cage.” “Maybe not,” he said. “But she knows that the Authority are the only people who might be able to help him.” “Or kill him,” I said. “That too. What is life without risk?” “Long?” Terric laughed, a sort of high whooping that made me—and Zayvion, much to my surprise—smile. Contagious. For all he had a serious exterior, Terric was the guy you’d want to sit next to at a funny movie, just to hear him laugh. ↗

— Devon Monk

#devon-monk #terric #zay #funny

Martin was dafter than a syphilitic polecat - where do I get these metaphors from? ↗

— Stieg Larsson

#funny

The world is a state of mind, so choose your profession according to your state, because a lot of governments kill intellectuals ↗

— Benson Bruno

#government #humor #intellectuals #funny

Love is a funny thing. The ones we love don't always love us back. ↗

— Scylar Tyberius

#love #funny

I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one. ↗

— Criss Jami

#attraction #fantasy #funny #funny-but-true #gallant

I'd like to thank William the conqueror for the Normandy Conquest. Because of him I've been speaking French every time I say the pledge of allegiance on D-day. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #language #normandy #funny

Promiscuous clone-love is the only way to realize the maxim, ‘love your neighbor as yourself. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #love #funny

New Yorkers, I figured, just pretended to be unfriendly. ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#funny