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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




The earth must be flat – there's a dunce in every corner of it I travel to.


Bauvard


#flat-earth #funny #humor #stupidity #funny

If you have an enemy, just shake his hand. Then he’ll be a sworn enemy.


Bauvard


#funny #handshakes #humor #oaths #funny

I don't trust you to go alone," Charlotte said. "You'll end up getting killed in a duel with Braddock." "If I do, it won't happen before dawn at the least. There are still several hours during which you will have to obey me." "What happens to me if you're killed?" Charlotte asked. "Will I be free to do as I wish then?" "Remove that bloodthirsty look from your eye, baggage. If anything happens to me, you will be passed along with the furniture and the paintings to the next Earl of Denbigh, whoever he may be." Charlotte pursed her lips. "I think I would prefer to deal with you. At least we have reached a sort of understanding. So, if you please, I would rather you did not let the duke kill you." "I'll do my best to avoid it," he assured her.


Joan Johnston


#funny

Now there's a girl I don't want to mess with' — or at least, that's what I would think if I had a chronic fear of freakishly nice people.


Nenia Campbell


#funny-and-random #humor #niceness #funny

Frogs. We all want their long tongues and jumping power, but aspiring superheroes rarely consider the benefits of growing up as sperm.


Bauvard


#funny #growing-up #humor #sperm #funny

She began to curl her hair and long for balls


Jane Austen


#dirty #funny #funny

Mama operated under the assumption that I was eight years old and incapable of feeding myself. It was physically impossible for her to cross my threshold without some form of nourishment. She once offered me cheese and crackers from her while we were standing in my kitchen.


Molly Harper


#funny #jane-jameson #mama #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs." "I was curious!


Molly Harper


#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #vampire

I'm not a human anymore


Darren Shan


#funny

You,” Madeline said, her voice hollow and wheezing, “are a bad case of herpes, wizard. You’re inconvenient, embarrassing, no real threat, and you simply will not go away.


Jim Butcher


#funny






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