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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.


Wallace Wang


#humor #work #funny

Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God damn you Brenda and Sonny for making me lose focus.


Tara Sivec


#general-hospital #gh #funny

Whispers followed me down the hall. Ignoring them was harder than I´d imagined. Every Cell in my body demanded that I confront them. And do what? Jump on them like a crazy spider monkey and take them all out? Yah, not going to win me any fans.


Jennifer L. Armentrout


#funny #funny

How did you do it?" I brought the teacup to my mouth for another sip. "How did you guide Sophie's soul? I thought you were a reaper." "He's both," Nash said from behind me, and I turned just as he followed my father through the front door, pulling his long sleeves down one at a time. He and my dad had just loaded Aunt Val's white silk couch into the back of my uncle's truck, so he wouldn't have to deal with the bloodstains when he and Sohie got back from the hospital. "Tod is very talented." Tod brushed the curl back from his face and scowled. Harmony spoke up from the kitchen as the oven door squealed open. "Both my boys are talented." "Both?" I repeated, sure I'd heard her wrong. Nash sighed and slid onto the chair his mother had vacated, then gestured toward the reaper with one hand. "Kaylee, meet my brother, Tod.


Rachel Vincent


#kaylee #tod #totally-unexpected #funny

Sure. What's the worst that could happen." Twenty minutes later, we had our answer. "I can't frecking believe this." I cringed. "I'm so sorry." "I'm bald!" Giguhl continued. "I look like a freak." "It's not that bad," I said. But it was. Oh, my lord was it bad. I'd never seen an uglier cat in my entire life.


Jaye Wells


#funny #giguhl #haircut #sabina #funny

They came out in a dim, damp basement - a generic sort of place, full of moulding boxes. 'You take me to the nicest places,' Claire said, and sneezed.


Rachel Caine


#claire-danvers #funny #humor #myrnin #rachel-caine

Who was it that said, “Men are but wheat, and the government is the bread”? Ah yes, that was my grandfather, who shouted that shortly before hurling a loaf of bread at President Hoover during the great depression.


Jarod Kintz


#government #great-depression #herbert-hoover #maxim #metaphor

Jen put her hands on her hips and pinned Sally with the famous 'you're going to spit it out or I'm going to rip it out of you’ look. "You talked?" Jen asked sarcastically. "Sally," she cleared her throat then continued, "you have a mate. A guaranteed husband. A sure thing. Not to mention he's hot, funny, sweet, and he has a dimple. You talked?" She repeated. This time Jen's voice was skeptical. Before Sally could defend herself, however, her door opened slowly, calculatingly. "I know you weren't describing me Jennifer. So who is this male who has caught your eye so descriptively? Please do tell, so that I can rip him to pieces." Decebel's power filled the room and Sally took an involuntary step away from the very angry Alpha.


Quinn Loftis


#decebel #jen #sally #funny

Before Kiki and I headed toward the Keep, I thanked my friends. “For what? We didn’t do anything,” Janco grumbled. “For caring enough to follow my guards. And the next time, I might need the help.” “There better not be a next time,” Ari said, giving me a stern look. “How touching,” Janco said, pretending to wipe his eyes. “Get going, Yelena. I don’t want you to see me cry.” He faked a sniffle. “I’m sure your ego can handle it,” I said. “Or will you need to beat up some trainees to feel like a man again?” “Very funny,” he said.


Maria V. Snyder


#janco #yelena #funny

The crowd quieted as a whole, but more than one creature cursed under his breath, "Not Regin." A drunk hunched over the bar muttered, "That glowing one made me eat a transistor radio once.


Kresley Cole


#funny






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