#funny

Goodbyes, they often come in waves. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#goodbye #goodbyes #humor #waves #funny

What's another word for Thesaurus? ↗

— Steven Wright

#another #thesaurus #word

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#day #dread #going #i #new

I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan mail. . . . Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly. . . . I just wish I knew why. . . .” He paused, looking faintly puzzled, then beamed again and returned to his signing with renewed vigor. “I suspect it is simply my good looks. . . . ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#gilderoy #harry-potter #humor #lockehart #rowling

He shrugged. “I have a stomach thing. Don’t get close.” “Well, now you’ve spoiled everything,” I said casually, working hard to fake it. “I was planning to seduce you in the broom closet.” I pointed. “Right there.” A joyless smile appeared on Jamie’s lips. “We are far too screwed-up for a goddamned love triangle.” That’s my Jamie. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#funny #funny

Obsessive compulsive" Nikolaus mumble in amusement. "I would rather eat a grenade than make a line with two different colors!" Remy responded in a pained voice as he pointed at the pad of paper. Thiago snickered as he continued to torment the Cajun with his blue pen. Speaking of grenades, though... Brandt had a timing device around here somewhere. What had he done with it? ↗

— Abigail Roux

#funny

Boys don’t gossip.” “Pah! You don’t know us as well as you think.” This was a disturbing prospect. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #funny

What do you think is the problem? You’re a cute kid-­‐uh, guy. Man. You’re a cute man. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#paranormal-romance #funny

It dawned on him that he really could be a cop if he wanted to, and it dawned on him that he'd had this revelation while eating a donut, and it that wasn't a sign, he didn't know what was. ↗

— Doug Dorst

#funny

A brick could be used to keep thieves away from your house. Just set a brick outside your front door, and you won’t need any additional security. Years will go by and nobody will steal the brick. And because the brick won’t get stolen, it’s proof that it deterred thieves from approaching your property.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny