#funny

This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #richelle-mead #rose #funny

I always felt that Jim Morrison was a terrible name for the front man of The Doors. No, for a band called The Doors, a name like Rusty Hinge would have been more appropriate. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#jim-morrison #music #rusty-hinge #the-doors #funny

Promise me, Amelie, that you’ll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love.” “I hardly think there’s any chance of that,” Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three inches long.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #penis #sex #slut

(...) Since I was a kid." "Which you refer to as 'back when you were happy.'" "Right. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#sadness #suicide #funny

No need, no, need. Life is already too short to find it. ↗

— Jessica Day George

#romance #funny

My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #steroids #funny

But, sooner or later I'd love to do a comedy. I mean I think that, you know, people don't think that that's in my wheelhouse because I've sort of played a lot of dramatic stuff and that's certainly a side of myself that I want at some point in the right context, in the right stuff, that I find really funny. ↗

— Matthew Fox

#certainly #comedy #context #dramatic #find

I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation. ↗

— Megan Fox

#conversation #funny #go #i #i can

I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys. ↗

— Megan Fox

#guys #i #like #nerdy #reason