#funny

I think serial monogamy says it all. ↗

— Tracey Ullman

#i #i think #monogamy #says #serial

Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't. ↗

— Don Van Vliet

#because #big #big fan #england #fan

When a person encounters his own statue and takes a hammer to it, performance art adds depth to greatness. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #greatness #humor #art

How many types of curtains can there be? When I asked the salesman this, he banged on the organ and bellowed with laughter. But I saw those feet fidgeting. He just didn't know. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #random #funny

Oh all the time when Victoria Wood and I did our series. There were people asking 'Can women be funny?' People still ask that. It's like asking: 'Can women breathe in and out?' ↗

— Julie Walters

#asking #breathe #did #funny #i

I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: 'not sexy,' 'not funny,' 'too intense,' desperate.' All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn't a trace of my true self left. ↗

— Naomi Watts

#believed #called #desperate #everything #funny

In my opinion, all boyfriends should turn out to be secretly wealthy. ↗

— Claudia Gray

#funny #money #wealth #funny

Welcome to Arizona, you bastard. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#arizona #christina #funny #humor #anger

A blanket could be used like Lenny McDenny says hello. He never says hi, because he only says goodbye. He’s always leaving and never arriving. I’m like that too, except I’m always arriving and never leaving. I also eat all the food in your fridge, and never leave when you ask me to. Why would I leave? Good food, good friends, and good food. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

The letters of my name are scrambled like eggs. They should be sunny side up, like Dark Jar Tin Zoo.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dark-jar-tin-zoo #eggs #food #funny #humor