#funny

My friend has had sex with half the women in this city. I think he had sex with the lower half of all the women. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #sex #women #funny

EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH. ↗

— Lauren Conrad

#humor #funny

The doctor's wife ate two apples a day, just to be safe. But her husband kept coming home. ↗

— Joseph Gordon-Levitt

#doctor #funny #pun #wife #funny

All the letters from A to Z couldn’t express what you mean to me. Not without cloning them and using some over and over ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#express #funny #letters #funny

Theists count themselves among the aforementioned. They affirm they will be saved a lot of confusion. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#god #humor #funny

Let me just say it out loud so we can laugh together: You're going to find Johnny Depp, take him back to Vahalal, and put him in a zoo? ↗

— Gary Ghislain

#johnny-depp #laughs #funny

BARRELS! ↗

— PewDiePie

#funny

...And when you say the truth you get stronger. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#strength-of-character #truth #funny

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I should have picked her up. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hitchhiking #humor #funny