#funny

Don't cross me Scooby-Doo. I'm not an old man in a mask waiting to be thwarted by you meddling kids. ↗

Eve talking to someone on her computer and having trouble with the language translator. ...."I have two like crimes. Your data and your input on Leclerk would be very helpful" Marie pursed her lips and humor danced in her eyes. "It says you would like to have sex with me. I don't think that is correct" "Oh, for Christ sake" Eve slammed a fist against the machine..... ↗

— J.D. Robb

#death

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party! ↗

— Ron White

#humor #inspirational #party #funny

Two things in life are certain: uncertainty, and I’m not sure about the second thing. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#life #funny

Mardi Gras, baby. Mardi Gras. Time when all manner of weird shit cuts loose and parties down. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#mardi-gras #funny

Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#science #funny

It's funny how despair can soon become an old companion ↗

— Jacqueline Carey

#funny

She's Prim's size in diameter. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#games #hunger #hunger-games #funny

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#internet #love #valentines-day #funny

Alright, manly man,” he says. “Go prove that you’re a man. ↗