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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




Form a sacred bond. That way if your government one doesn't get repaid, you'll have something to pawn.


Bauvard


#funny #humor #lover #funny

I think I’ll hang myself under the tree that Agatha and I had our first picnic under. I’ll just have to reschedule my dentist appointment.


Jarod Kintz


#funny #suicide #funny

There are too many books, so I’m writing one that’s flame resistant. I’m putting it on the shelf of my next job. My current job is as a librarian, which is the perfect position for an arsonist.


Bauvard


#funny #humor #funny

A labyrinth is an ancient series of spiraling circels created on the ground with stones that you walk through. You're supposed to ponder some big question like what you should be when you grow up or if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? (I say no, because a sound is only invisible waves in the air until it hits someones ear, but Kenny says yes because the resulting crash would still cause vibrations and the earth itself would "here" it.)


Wendy Mass (Every Soul A Star)


#thoughtfull #funny

That's why I always keep a handful of silver glitter in my pockets. If I get pushed into a conversational corner I throw the glitter into the air, and while the person I'm talking to is distracted, I run away. An additional benefit is that I look like a cool magician, so I've got that going for me.


Jon Acuff


#christianity #funny #funny

Hm-m," he said. "Lookie, Ma. I been all day an' all night hidin' alone. Guess who I been thinkin' about? Casy! He talked a lot. Used ta bother me. But now I been thinkin' what he said, an' I can remember- all of it. Says one time he went out in the wilderness to find his own soul, an' he foun' he didn' have no soul that was his'n. Says he foun' he jus' got a little piece of a great big soul. Says a wilderness ain't no good, 'cause his little piece of a soul wasn't no good 'less it was with the rest, an' was whole. Funny how I remember. Didn't even think I was listenin'. But I know now a fella ain't no good alone.


John Steinbeck


#humanity #funny

Hey!" Sam snapped, ducking the sticky shrapnel. "Keep your snot to yourself." Dev scoffed at that. "Oh, so now you don't want to touch me, huh?" He tsked. "What is it with women? the instant you put a little slime on them, they get squeamish and have no more use for you.


Sherrilyn Kenyon


#women #funny

I live on shameless flattery...and vodka...but the two usually go hand in hand.


Vicktor Alexander


#flattery #funny #funny

Getting into a fight with a popular senior. Pissing off a school teacher and the local chief of police. Hanging with two major-league losers." She slapped my back. "Welcome to high school.


Harlan Coben


#high-school #humor #mickey #shelter #funny

I never forget things. I just don't observe them in the first place.


Bauvard


#funny #humor #observation #funny






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