#funny

We're all headed for the junkyard. But not me. When that time comes, I'm crashing into the car dealership. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #junkyards #trash #funny

Hardly anything is made of wood anymore. Nature has provided us with far more durable materials. Carpentry is as obsolete as rainforests. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #nature #rainforests #wood

Water is not as life-giving as alcohol, or as widespread. But it is more ethical to use as an industrial solvent. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #solvents #water #funny

From Chloe's Secret--coming soon “What are you saying?” “I’m saying I want to have a relationship with you. I want to love you.” “Is there a ‘but’ coming next?” “But the funny thing is, when I didn’t want to love you—it happened anyway.” He slipped his arms into my back pockets and hugged the breath out of me. I choked, my eyes stung. “I don’t know what to say.” He smiled. “Say whatever you want to. Just because I said it, you don’t have to.” He was right; I didn’t have to. He wasn’t asking anything of me. ↗

— Shelley K. Wall

#fiction #romance #romantic-comedy #funny

Normally I’d run off in the other direction when faced with a man wearing what were essentially pyjamas to work, but this time... well, they matched my boxers. ↗

— Josephine Myles

#love-at-first-sight #random #funny

Kate giggled. “Excellent choice.” “I always make excellent choices.” “I don’t know about that.” “Of course I do. I picked ye, didn’t I? ↗

— Whitney K.E.

#love #romance #romance-funny #romance-love #romance-novels

The lawn is the last suburban frontier. It separates us from the corruption of the street and its triker gangs. When drive-by shootings occur, our grass gets a shower instead of our windows getting water-stains. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gangs #humor #lawns #shootings

That body is most attractive which is well proportioned: a gangly right arm balanced by a left stump, a leg suffering from elephantitis by a meatless femur bone, a tapered waist by a bulbous head. One should be so ordered that all who see this person will say: ‘This is a figure ruled by harmony. ↗

— Bauvard

#bodies #funny #humor #proportion #funny

I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side. ↗

— Anne Gracie

#historical-romance #humour #romance #funny

What the dev— er, deuce did you do that for? It hurt!” “Good,” said the angel. “I was afraid these new shoes would not be sturdy enough. ↗

— Anne Gracie

#historical-romance #humour #romance #funny