#funny

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damagers awards. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#lawyers #funny

There’s a group that calls itself the Sarmy-or Sylar’s Army- and it’s dedicated to the support of my character, and they don’t like it when he’s disparaged. Their slogan is “Every villain needs a legion of evil supporters.” But what’s funny is they do great charity work. It’s never bad to have an army. ↗

— Zachary Quinto

#sylar #sylar-s-army #zachary-quinto #funny

Jocko likes salty, Jocko likes sweet, but never bring Jocko any hot sauce, like with jalapenos, because it makes Jocko squirt funny-smelling stuff out his ears. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#jocko #salty #sweet #funny

And since when is stealing people's possessions the call of God? you are all hypocrites who have suddenly come into power, and you don't know how to handle it ↗

— Dalia Sofer

#funny #insult #septembers-of-shiraz #funny

I took a bite of lobster meat with rice. It was quite tasty. 'Arguing the morality of slaughter will send you into a tailspin of self-loathing every time.' 'Unless you're a vegan.' 'Uh-huh. But then you're a vegan and you don't count. ↗

— Julie Powell

#funny #vegan #food

It’s funny,” she said reflectively, “but I always used to think that if only I was slimmer everything in my life would be all right. I didn’t realize until it happened that it would just open up a whole new set of problems.” ~Maxine ↗

— W. Soliman

#funny

I started to crawl off; then I remembered my leftover pizza, and I peeled off the salami, pepperoni, and anchovies and placed them on the CD tray (whicn no one used these days with flash drives around)on Boone's computer. I hit the close button and watched the smelly part of my delicious dinner slide away. Boone would have a great time wondering 'where's that smell coming from? ↗

— Duffy Brown

#comedy #funny #humor #mystery #pizza

How do you know?” “Well, I don’t, I’m making this up, but I bet I’m right. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

You know it feels good. I can hardly geta…I don’t even…” There was something amusing about watching him trying to form a coherent sen-tence. Amusing, but arousing at the sametime. ↗

— Charlotte Stein

#romantic #funny

Broken Wind believed that we are traumatized as babies by intestinal gas or colic. The great shaman invented a technique called "gastral projection" to help release these traumas. His philosophy was simple: "To air is human ... but to really cut one loose is divine. ↗

— Swami Beyondananda

#funny