#funny

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me. ↗

— Harry Connick, Jr.

#crises #escape #ever #feel #funny

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. ↗

— Billy Connolly

#definition #intellectual #listen #lone #lone ranger

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. ↗

— Dane Cook

#better #funny #get #i #i can

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. ↗

— Rob Corddry

#bit #closer #little #little bit #people

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#fat #found #hang #i #look

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. ↗

— Bette Davis

#hair #i #just #kiss #washed

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did. ↗

— Bette Davis

#afraid #brought #conventions #did #end

Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine. ↗

— Evan Davis

#being #being funny #believes #confidence #everyone

I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny. ↗

— Jonathan Davis

#book #funny #giggle #give #i

It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever. ↗

— Rosario Dawson

#already #because #before #broke #broken