#funny

The cat dropped the rat between its two front paws. "There are those," it said with a sigh, in tones as smooth as oiled silk, "who have suggested that the tendency of a cat to play with its prey is a merciful one - after all, it permits the occasional funny little running snack to escape, from time to time. How often does your dinner get to escape? ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#funny

The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car. ↗

— Derek Landy

#pleasant #skulduggery #funny

And you'd think that killing people would make them like you, but it doesn't. It just- it just makes them dead. ↗

— Joe Walker (as Voldemort in AVPM)

#joe-walker #supermegafoxyawesomehot #totally-awesome #voldemort #wise-words

Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward ↗

— J.R. Ward

#tips #writing #funny

Finding the book was like kissing a lightning bolt. ↗

— Karen Miller

#funny #humor #funny

Shut. Up," June squealed. "You have a date with that guy?" She giggled and covered her mouth. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! Tell me everything." "I can't do both," I pointed out. ↗

— Robin Benway

#funny

There was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had. ↗

— Raymond Carver

#life #misery #funny

Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today." I groaned. That would be just like me - ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#bella-swan #funny #new-moon #twilight-saga #funny

People keep asking "Jacob or Edward?" when the really important question is "Diamond Dave or Sammy? ↗

— Ysabeau S. Wilce

#twilight #van-halen #funny

Strawberries are so red they make me feel 33% patriotic. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny