#funny

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I should have picked her up. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hitchhiking #humor #funny

If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay. ↗

— Tom Hanks

#life #funny

I fish better than any fish alive. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

Don’t do it gurl,” he said with a wink. “You need to pretend like that phone is your best friend’s husband’s dick now drop it. ↗

— Ethan Day

#funny

No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cute enough to kiss you. ↗

— Frank Ocean

#funny #hip-hop #horomones #in-the-moment #life-and-living

And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen." "Maybe they'll get muddy," Dick said. "Please, Lord, let them get muddy. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #missy #molly-harper #mud

I am the Hooray Distributor. Hold your hands flat, not like begging for money, but as if you’re about to applaud. Now clap, damn you.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#applause #beg #begging #clap #clapping

boys, girls and music . . why do they need gin? ↗

— Frank

#gin #humor #nice #music

The poet will only be recited until the death of his language. The violinist will only give recitals until the bowing of nose hairs. ↗

— Bauvard

#greatness #humor #music #noses #poetry