#funny

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#accountant #always #ask #child #i

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#barbie #buzz #cut #i #i think

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#being #being funny #being myself #decided #everything

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do. ↗

— Danny DeVito

#basically #because #chose #dark #different

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. ↗

— Mae West

#funny #hard #you

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. ↗

— Paula Deen

#because #care #funny #haters #i

How are you feeling?" I leaned away from him. "Gross." Aiden frowned. "Gross?" "I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face in days. Don't come near me." He laughed. "Alex, come on." "Seriously, I'm gross." I put my hand over my mouth. Ignoring my protests, he leaned over and brushed my string hair back. "You're as beautiful as always, Alex." I stared at him. He must not get out much. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#alex #funny #humor #sarcasm #beauty

I think I've got a funny face. ↗

— Dominic West

#funny #got #i #i think #think

I need to go get ready to leave. Will you be okay?" I start making my way to the stairs, but Briston practically cries out for me to stop. "Wait! You're just going to leave? What if, I don't know, what if the vampire gets all blood crazy and kills everyone in the neighborhood?" "Well then, I'll count myself lucky I wasn't here. ↗

— Brandy Nacole

#emma #freaked-out #funny #faith

-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful." -"It was stupid. ↗

— Lloyd Alexander

#comedy #comical #funny #humor #humorous