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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




I had a dream about you. We were babysitting for a family of mannequins, and we were arguing over what to feed them. You wanted to feed them organic food, but I said, “Why waste real food on fake people?” In the end you agreed, and we served them a genetically modified dinner.



Dark Jar Tin Zoo


#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

A brick could used to translate and transform long cuneiform texts into shorter tweets. Sure, just take the brick and smash the clay tablets, and each broken fragment should be roughly 140 characters.


Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Every time the wind blows I think of her. I wonder if I could generate electricity off my yearning. Maybe a mind wind farm of some kind. Hopefully I could provide enough power for all the lonely people in my bathtub to stay warm.


Jarod Kintz


#electricity #funny #humor #lonely #power

I saw a hermaphrodite changing, so out of respect, I turned halfway around.


Jarod Kintz


#hermaphrodite #humor #respect #change

After I chased the werewolf and the vampire out of my office, I changed my clothes.


Ilona Andrews


#change

My cousin fell in love with a dom, so I checked into it to see if I needed to kill him before they got married.


Cherise Sinclair


#bondage #erotic-romance #funny #romance #funny

What I remember most clearly is how it felt. I’d just finished painting a red fire engine-like the one I often walked past near my grandparents’ house. Suddenly the teachers, whose names I've long forgotten, closed in on my desk. They seemed unusually impressed, and my still dripping fire engine was immediately and ceremoniously pinned up. I don’t know what they might have said, but their unexpected attention and having something I’d made given a place of honor on the wall created an overwhelming and totally unfamiliar sense of pride inside me. I loved that feeling, and I wanted to feel it again and again. That desire, I suppose, was the beginning of my career. I have no idea where my fire engine painting ended up, but I never forgot the basic layout. Several decades later, it served as the inspiration for this sketch for an illustration in a book called Why the chicken crossed the Road.


David Macaulay


#humor #inspirational #funny

Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?" "Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.


Molly Harper


#internet #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #sarcasm

When it comes to most women I'm just experienced, but with priory nuns I'm a priori.


Bauvard


#funny #humor #love #nuns #sex

P—Jamie!” I called. He waded back toward me. “I’m starting to think my name is Pajamie.” “Your name should be Pajerky. You said it wasn’t deep.” “Pajerky?” He gave me a skeptical look. “That’s Pathetic.” “We’ll see how smug you are once I’m on dry land.


Diana Peterfreund


#beach #funny #jamie #love-story #poe






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