#funny

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#haven #her #i #interrupt #spoken

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#family #found #i #looked #out

And regardless of the fact that in this country, certainly in the arts, we treat comedy as a second-class citizen, I've never thought of it that way. I've always thought it to be important. The last time I looked, the Greeks were holding up two masks. I've always thought of it not only as having equal value, but as the craft of it, being funny. ↗

— Jeff Daniels

#arts #being #being funny #certainly #citizen

I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny. ↗

— Paula Danziger

#ago #both #choice #funny #i

A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it. ↗

— Calista Flockhart

#clever #dive #focus #funny #get

I think movies glamorize violence, in the sense that they make it in a way that it's either cool or funny. ↗

— Matthew Vaughn

#either #funny #i #i think #make

It's so funny how my name has always been such a big deal. When I was growing up, my family was always moving. I had to meet new people all the time. And they'd laugh. ↗

— Calista Flockhart

#been #big #big deal #deal #family

It seems like I've only shut my eyes for a few minutes, but when I open them, I flinch at the sight of Haymitch sitting a couple of feet from my bed. Waiting. Possibly for several hours if the clck is right. I think about hollering for a witness, but I'm going to have to face him sooner or later. Haymitch leans forward and dangles something on a thin white wire in front of my nose. It's hard to focus on, but I'm pretty sur what it is. He drops it in to the sheets. "That is your earpiece. I will give you exactly one more chance to wear it. If you remove it from your ear again, I'll have you fitted with this." He holds up some sort of metal headgear that I instantly name the head shackle. "It's alternative audio unit that locks around your skull and under your chin until it's opened with a key. And I'll have the only key. If for some reason you're clever enough to disable it" ---- Haymitch dumps the head shackle on the bed and whips out a tiny silver chip--- "I'll authorize them to surgically implant this transmitter into your ear so that I may speak to you twenty-four hours a day." Haymitch in my head full-time. Horrifying. "I'll keep the earpiece in," I mutter "Excuse me?" He says "I'll keep the earpiece in!" I say loud enough to wake half the hospital. "You sure? Because I'm equally happy with any of the three options," he tells me "I'm sure," I say. I scrunch up the earpiece protectivley in my fist and fling the head shakle back in his face with my free hand, but he catches it easily. Probably was expecting me to throw it. "Anything else?" Haymitch rises to go. "While I was waiting. . . I ate your lunch." My eyes take in the empty stew bowl and tray on my bed table. "I'm going to report you," I mumble into my pillow. "You do that sweetheart." He goes out, safe in the knowledge that I'm not the reporting kind. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#haymitch-and-katniss #equality

I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli. ↗

— Michael J. Fox

#because #deli #getting #going #i

And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that's funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there's all kinds of advantages to it. ↗

— Al Franken

#advantages #being #book #down #easier