#funny

I’m sure all of that’s true. Especially the anal bit--Marshall’s always been an ass--but I don’t see how this is relevant, unless of course I’m mistaken, and you really are comparing me to a crumb that needs sweeping. - Shella ↗

— Krista Alasti

#fantasy #funny #krista-alasti #shifters #taming-shadows

If I tell you another seven hundred times, maybe one of these days you might turn your clothes right side out when you put them in the hamper, eh? ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#humor #laundry #funny

Wait a minute, hold on... The dude dies, and the girl cries so hard that she gets turned into a fountain? ↗

— Caroline Goode

#humor #mythology #funny

For Breakfast I like my coffee warm and cozy and my eggs funny side up. ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#funny

He always smelled like warm wood and brandy, even when he hadn't had a drop of drink. Funny how he managed that. Funny how his smell was in her bed. Henry's eyelids fluttered open. Funny how he was in her bed. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#funny

I've heard there’s a lot of bagpiping in that house. I'd love to go check it out." "So...you want to join the secret society of revolutionary plumbers. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #plumbing #secret-society #funny

What?" he asked. "You're staring at me funny." "We're in the wrong movie," I confessed. ↗

— Lou Harper

#funny

I did a charity walk the other day. They asked for money, and I walked.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

However, human beings are funny; we always want what we don't have. ↗

— Apol Lejano-Massebieau

#funny

Funny how people don't really see each other. Men and women. They invent each other in their minds and then they see what they invent.They don't really see each other. Now she was in love with him and she didn't even know his real name, didn't know anything real about him. ↗

— Andrew Klavan

#love #truthful-in-every-way #funny