#funny

I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.

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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#deceit #deceived #deception #delirious #funny

The Shrink always warned me that carriers stay wracked with lifelong guilt. It's not an uplifting thing having turned lovers into monsters. We feel bad that we haven't turned into monsters ourselves--survivor's guilt, that's called. And we feel a bit stupid that we didn't notice our own symptoms earlier. I mean, I'd been sort of wondering why the Atkins diet was giving me night vision. But that hadn't seemed like something to worry about... ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#funny #guilt #humor #ombies #parasites

She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you" with "May I take your order? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cashier #confusion #daydreaming #delusional #fantasy

They sent me the script and I thought that there was something very appealing and funny about it. Also, I was familiar with Mike Myers' work in Saturday Night Live, but I did not know the extent to which he would make this creation. ↗

— Michael York

#also #appealing #creation #did #extent

I'd love to date somebody cool, fun, funny. ↗

— Rihanna

#date #fun #funny #i #love

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. ↗

— Elayne Boosler

#been #divorced #i #married #me

I make love like never, only less often.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#humor #love #time #age

In comedy, though, it's good to get feedback from the audience about what they find funny. ↗

— Bobby Farrelly

#audience #comedy #feedback #find #funny

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny. ↗

— Martin Short

#family #funny #i #i think #siblings

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny. ↗

— Martin Short

#cool #david #david lynch #dinners #face