#hum

Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language." Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?" "With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top." Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!" This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing. "Dude," Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that... ↗

— Rick Riordan

#horse #humor #humor

So much good, so much evil. Just add water. ↗

— Markus Zusak

#humor

Poirot," I said. "I have been thinking." "An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#thinking #humor

I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?" "Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple." "But...you did something nice. Why?" He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #madness #nice #percy-jackson #sarcasm

You were wrong. She really is the new general in town." I smiled back, hoping he wasn't aware of my body's reaction to us standing so close. "Maybe. But, it's okay. You can still be colonel." He arched an eyebrow. "Oh? Did you demote yourself? Colonel's right below general. What's that make you?" I reached into my pocket and triumphantly flashed the CR-V keys I'd swiped when we'd come back inside. "The driver," I said. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #rose-hathaway #humor

أحيانا أميل إلى قراءة الكتابات الخرافية، بالأمس عكفت ساعة على قراءة ميثاق حقوق الإنسان ↗

— محمد عفيفي

#humor

Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything. ↗

— Steve Martin

#humor #humor

You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years. ↗

— Chris Rock

#humor

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#humour #humor

And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#crazy #eric #funny #humor #love