#hum

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me." "Say 'please.'" "Don't mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?" "Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice. "All right- PLEASE." "NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny #harry-potter #humor #peeves #please

We are all human and I want to relate that message to all people. ↗

— Bootsy Collins

#i #message #people #relate #want

A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fitness #funny #humor #funny

And if you dont come back from the dorm, I'm the one who has to explain to Micheal how I let you go off and get yourself killed like a Dumbass. First rule in horror movies, Clair-Never split up! ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#humor #inspirational #funny

I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#conversation #funny #human #mouth #weird

I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #genitals #hilarious #humor #naughty

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health." - City of Bones (said by Jace Wayland) ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #entertainment #funny #humor #jace-wayland