#hum

...food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die. ↗

— Joshua Donellan

#humorous #humour #humourous #food

I've never seen Salisbury steak on a restaurant menu. It's only in frozen dinners. Is there something we should know about that? What IS Salisbury steak anyway? And where do they hunt or harvest the salisburies? ↗

— Kelli Jae Baeli

#humor #salisbury-steak #food

Lampaxa Vorheridine? My Latin was never very good. What does that Translate to?" "Um, nothing. It wasn't named by an Earth scientist. According to the database it was named by a Cheblookan aboard a frieghter when it stopped here looking for fresh food. His friend was killed by one as they searched the swamp for Greppers. After the hunting party killed the creature and determined that it was safe to eat if processed properly, the Cheblookan reportedly named it after his mother-in-law, Lampaxa Vorheridine. he said it sort of reminded him of her, even though they look nothing alike. ↗

— Thomas DePrima

#science-fiction #food

It would be a primal offering of food from man to woman and a satisfyingly primitive declaration of intent. However, he mused, one could never be sure these days who would be offended by being handed a dead mallard bleeding from a breast full of tooth-breaking shot and sticky about the neck with dog saliva. ↗

— Helen Simonson

#humor #food

I always carry a spoon in my pocket. You know, just in case it rains.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #pocket #preparation #prepared #rain

To err is human, to forgive, divine. ↗

— Alexander Pope

#forgiveness #humanity #mistakes #forgiveness

Life with the Guru - there is no manual. ↗

— Art Hochberg

#inspirational #art

Out of love for mankind, and out of despair at my embarrassing situation, seeing that I had accomplished nothing and was unable to make anything easier than it had already been made, and moved by a genuine interest in those who make everything easy, I conceived it as my task to create difficulties everywhere. ↗

— Søren Kierkegaard

#life #philosophy #humor

God knows I've got so many frailties myself, I ought to be able to understand and forgive them in others. But I don't. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#flaws #forgiveness #human-frailties #forgiveness

Forgive me....I called you an idiot. I spoke too hastily. You are not. Had I given it more thought, I would have called you a scoundrel. ↗

— Lloyd Alexander

#comebacks #funny #humor #humorous #silly