#hum

I don't believe in speaking ill of the dead, even when it's the truth. ↗

— Ann B. Ross

#humor

Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don't think it right. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #marriage #women #humor

I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#humor

It's impossible to walk through solid rock... You have to walk between the molecules that make up the rock. ↗

— J.M. Dattilo

#humor #life #philosophy #reality #science-fiction

LADY BRACKNELL Algernon is an extremely, I may almost say an ostentatiously, eligible young man. He has nothing, but he looks everything. What more can one desire? ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

He found Luciana sitting alone at a table in the Allied officers' night club, where the drunken Anzac major who had brought her there had been stupid enough to desert her for the ribald company of some singing comrades at the bar. "All right, I'll dance with you," she said, before Yossarian could even speak. "But I won't let you sleep with me." "Who asked you?" Yossarian asked her. "You don't want to sleep with me?" she exclaimed with surprise. "I don't want to dance with you. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#sex #women #humor

Some people call me sick and twisted. I feel that I'm neither; I am instead a Romantic. ↗

— Kenzie Western

#romanticism #sick-humor #twisted #humor

...if the spell was off, I’d have my heart eaten before I could turn around.” “Don’t you want your heart eaten?” asked the fire. [...] “Naturally I don’t,” Sophie answered. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#humor #humor

...first thing is that I love you. And the second thing is that as much as I honor your former profession, I don’t think your geese care much for your betrothed and I hope they hadn’t any plans on sharing our bed. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #romance #young-adult #humor

In Life, you need to know the difference between what you think is right and what you know is right. ↗

— Rea Erika Paraz Ebate

#humor #life #wisdom #wise-sayings #humor