#humor

Don't go looking for boys in the dark They will say pretty things then leave you with scars. Do go looking for boys in the park For that is where the true gentlemen are. ↗

— Anna Godbersen

#gentlemen #humor #love #wisdom #humor

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. ↗

— Douglas Coupland

#humor

I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack. ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#love #relationships #humor

It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the internet-" "You invented the internet?" It was my idea, Martha said. Rats are delicious, George said. "It was my idea!" Hermes said. "I mean the internet, not the rats. But that's not the point. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#hermes #humor #internet #martha #percy-jackson

There aren't any syringes." Red Sox came over and held a sterile pack out. When she tried to take it form him, he kept a grip on the thing. "I know you'll use this wisely." "Wisely?" She snapped the syringe out of his hand. "No, I'm going to poke him in the eye with it. Because that's what they trained me to do in medical school. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #medical #paranormal #romance #vampires

You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair! ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humor #red-hair #redheads #humor

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. ↗

— Peter De Vries

#writing #humor

I know - I'll play you for it," Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors." Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed. "Why don't you just tell me who wins?" Edward said wryly. Alice beamed. "I do. Excellent. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#edward #furture-telling #humor #humor

Shigure: "That's lovely. She’s so... how shall I say it? By putting it into words I'm afraid the nobility of it all would only be obscured." Yuki: "Of what?" Shigure: "You know, she's so spunky!" Kyo: "You sick bastard! ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #kyo #manga #natsuki-takaya #shigure

Want to talk about Shakespeare's sonnets?" asked Orphu of Io. Are you shitting me?" The moravecs loved the ancient human colloquial phrases, the more scatological the better. Yes," said Orphu. "I am most definitely shitting you, my friend. ↗

— Dan Simmons

#humor