#humor

she tried to stand up. It very nearly worked too … apart from the world spinning at great speed with some very pretty stars … then the ground leapt up and hit her quite hard, which was most unfair of it as she could not remember giving it any reason to … . Then the world went all fuzzy and she passed out. ↗

— Nicholas Reardon

#girls #humor #manga #reardon #humor

We can’t make love out here. It’s freezing!” Maryanne cried. A boyishly beseeching look lit up his eyes. “We would heat up quickly.” “It’s fine for you,” she protested. “You only need one part of your body, and you’ll be sliding that into warmth. ↗

— Sharon Page

#outdoor #sex #humor

Most people assumed Aaron was gay just because he was on the cheerleading squad. I, on the other hand, assumed a guy who would endure severe social stigma in the name of getting his hands under a bunch of girls' skirts when he lifted them into the air was probably pervier than your average bear. ↗

— Stacey Jay

#humor

I was just teasing," I say. "I myself don't like to eat plain butter, but hey, it's a free world. ↗

— Lauren Myracle

#free #humor #world #humor

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto! ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#politics #humor

I was going to have to come up with a rank for myself besides Alpha's mate. In the pack, I was just Mercy- but if ten more people called me the Alpha's mate, I was going to hit someone. It sounded like a chess move. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor

On the other hand, the Prince had proved a much more effective teacher than Snape so far. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off. ↗

— Steve Kluger

#self-consciousness #witty #humor

Raoden turned to regard the large Dula. "What does it matter? It's not like we have anything pressing to do. It's actually quite pleasant up here—you should just sit back and enjoy it." An ominous crash came from the clouds above them, and Raoden felt a wet drop splat against his head. "Fantastic," Galladon grumbled. "I'm enjoying myself already. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

And what is better than wisedoom (wisdom)? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing From Canterbury Tales ↗

— Geoffrey Chaucer

#humor